LUXORD: Maintenance Guide and Manual
by A.D. Williams
Summary: Here at Enix/Disney Incorporated, we believe in giving you the finest quality products that money can buy. We greatly appreciate your recent purchase and if you ever have any problems after reading this manual, a support team is available 24/7. Enjoy!


Chay, Luxord's turn! I guess it can be expected that a few stereotypes are mentioned here, but I hope I also did an alright job in showing my own opinions on him. Do enjoy!

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Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of your very own LUXORD unit! Please read this manual carefully to help ensure of proper handling and care.

**Accessories**

Units come equipped with:

Magical deck of cards

Beard trimming kit

Liquor flask

**Common Personality Settings**

Sober

Drunk

The Sober mode is self explanatory. When not drinking, LUXORD units can function like average members of society and cause little problems.

The Drunken mode, while interesting, is not suggested. Fatal stunts may occur and there will be no less than two bar fights if that's where he happened to get hammered at. If at home, he may engage you or other units in magic tricks—where everyone loses out on money but him. This angers most people, so try to keep LUXORD Sober.

**Other Compatible/Incompatible Units**

XIGBAR: It's a given that XIGBAR's are great friends to the LUXORD units. Whether it's a day out at the club trying to pick up chicks (emphasis on 'trying'. Since the Nobodies have lost their hearts, their flirting abilities have majorly decreased) or enjoying singing unfitting songs together (Won first place at a bar karaoke night for singing "Don't Go Breaking My Heart") these two are guaranteed to have fun together.

VEXEN: LUXORD units are not friends with VEXEN's, but due to constantly being stressed out by MARLUXIA, VEXEN often keep a small stash of wine shots in his room. LUXORD's like to buy one or two every now and then.

DEMYX: When his luck is down on picking up women, DEMYX units make a great backup choice, much to the XIGBAR's consternation. No, DEMYX units do not approve of this sort of attention (from either person) but being a pacifist as he is, he puts up with it instead of violently striking out.

LUXORD: Other LUXORD units can either be their best friend or their own worst enemy. Most are so wrapped in their huge ego that it's a thrill to be around themselves. If it were not for their feelings for another unit, they might even be inclined to marry themselves.

MARLUXIA: LUXORD's do not like MARLUXIA units. They seem to think very highly of themselves (yet LUXORD does not realize that he does too) and forgets that at number Eleven, most of the other members outrank him. It is best to keep these two units away from each other to avoid a brawl.

LARXENE: For all the attention LUXORD may show to a DEMYX unit, these units are where their real efforts go. LARXENE's are not easily courted though but LUXORD's are very persistent when they want something. The spicy attitude of LARXENE makes for a great challenge for him and more often than not, he's successful. In the unlikely event that he is not, prepare for a very long depressed drinking spell.

ROXAS: These units are good to LUXORD for nothing more than conning. That's all.

**Handling and Care**

Being extremely independent, it does not suit well with a LUXORD unit to be told what to do, but often times they do need a helping hand. For example, they cannot tie a tie. It's true! The intricate knot that is needed baffles them and in the end, they often resort to cheap, clip-on ties. With gentle guidance, you yourself (if you know how) can teach him and he won't hate you for the rest of his life for making him look like a dunce. If you are a woman, you have a better chance of this.

It is often repeated that units should never drink but LUXORD's perform their Organization tasks better when inebriated. Send them out on their missions with only enough liquor to fit in the given flask and no more! Nor allow them to carry any money on them to buy more while out. Stealing their wallet is a great way to ensure this.

When it comes down to tricks, these units are masters at them. Since AXEL and ROXAS units are often together, they kill two birds with one stone and swindle both of them out of whatever they can get. Strip poker with these two (and XIGBAR) is his favorite but a chance to humiliate anyone in the game is fine with him. Especially so if it's ZEXION.

The Illusionist has played blackjack with LUXORD multiple times and though these games could grow heated, nothing compares to the one time they played poker. Due to each ability clashing with the other (ZEXION's illusions can change the card to his whim, LUXORD's control over time allows him to slow the game down and swap out cards), the game ended on a near draw. Finally, LUXORD made the last move in which would've forced ZEXION to discard his underwear as his remaining strand of clothing. Instead, ZEXION hopped the table and began choking the Gambler of Fate and screaming that he'd cheated. LEXAEUS had to break up this epic battle and two have rarely played with each other since.

**Frequently Asked Questions**

Q: IS there any way to cure LUXORD's drinking and gambling addictions? My state prohibits gambling and my LUXORD is dying to go to a casino.

A: There are AA programs for Nobodies, but they are rarely effective since they lack a heart to really care about the steps that need to be followed. You will have to wean him off of the alcohol yourself. As for the gambling, pull out a game of Monopoly or another board game and let your units and family enjoy the fake money instead.

Q: My LUXORD watched a movie where someone had a British accent and now thinks that his tag that says "Made in Japan" is wrong, that he's adopted and is now demanding his real birth certificate and a trip to England. Why _does _he have a British accent anyways?

A: Personality. LUXORD's image is quite attractive to women all over the world and the accent adds an extra sense of…sensuality. As for him inquiring about his origins, it is a shame that he is not aware that he is factory made. Don't tell him this though. If possible, let him take a trip to England and let him discover his 'roots' for himself. Hopefully, he will realize the truth on his own.

Q: Can units get married? My LUXORD proposed to a LARXENE unit and funnily enough, she accepted it.

A: That depends on the church. Las Vegas is sure to let you, if you don't mind them having their wedding in Sin City.

Q: Can two units of the _same _gender get married? My LUXORD proposed to another LUXORD and predictably enough, he accepted it.

A: Head to Canada. Or Venezuela. Whichever is closest. Your LUXORD is most certainly stroking his own ego. And we mean that in the least sexual way possible.

Q: My LUXORD is making a decent earning off of being a street performer with his tricks. But I'm afraid one day he'll anger someone (like the infamous ZEXION incident) and that they'll hunt him down for revenge. What are other jobs that LUXORD is good at?

A: That's up to your unit. They honestly do waste their cunning talents with such professions, but the few that break away from this lifestyle make excellent CEO's of companies and terrific lawyers (provided they're drunk). Try to pitch these ideas to him and that he can make much more money at them.

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We sincerely hope this guide has proven helpful to you. Many well wishes and thank you for buying from Enix/Disney Inc.!

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Heh, I absolutely love the idea of Zexion snapping off and attacking Lux. Makes me think of a cat attacking a dog or something, xD! And it's a damn shame that Luxord only runs on two personality types!

Self promotion! I've started my first serious romance/drama story although it features OC's (I know, most people aren't big on them and neither am I…you know, the whole possible Mary-Sue, self-insertion factor comes into play), but I'd be much obliged if you'd check it out. For lack of a better name, it's called What Tomorrow May Bring, but if my muse gets off its ass, I'll change it to something better. I'll let you read the summary there (make sure to read the full inside one as well…it's long, but necessary) and decide if its anywhere near your sort of cup of tea.

Okay, enough of that! Please review!


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